This year is all about hardcore commitment for me, especially in regards to my writing. I feel as though I have all this talent that just goes to waste because I'm afraid, or lazy, or I can't stop scrolling through Tumblr... *takes long break from blog to scroll through Tumblr*

It makes me feel ashamed that I have so many wonderful dreams and ideas, yet no commitment to follow through with them.

God gave me this talent, and it is my duty to share it with the world. We need more writers!

And also, omg, I just wrote an introduction for my online American Lit class, and I was telling everyone how I'm studying to become an English teacher, but my real heart and passion is in writing, and one of my classmates was like, "You should be a creative writing major if you love it, I urge you to check out the program..." and when people tell me things like that, I make this face ":O" and I begin rethinking EVERYTHING.

Am I doing the right thing? I want to be a writer but I know how difficult it is to make a living from it, so I figured: English teacher! I can write on the side! But I don't want to write on the side. I want to teach on the side. I'M HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS RIGHT NOW, HELP.

Like, if I want to write, I should be studying the craft, right? There are CLASSES that teach one about writing novels and poetry and plays and screenplays, and they force you to constantly produce work, and whyhaveineverthoughtofthis?! I'm freaking out.

And I had this wonderful, lovely idea for a short story (or play or screenplay or book) this morning that has magic and romance and science fiction and yes!, and I can't wait to start it but I'm scared.

Why am I so scared?

This blog post is making me question everything, and I think I'll need some time to figure out what I'm going to do about it...

V