Thoughts on Her

Last night I watched "Her," a film directed by Spike Jonze starring Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson, and I have to say, I haven't loved a movie this much in a very long time. It's thought-provoking, sweet, uncomfortable, and overall, memorable. It quickly became a favorite. Anyway, this is not a review, just a post about how much I admire the metaphysical, existential, and romantic ideas explored in this film. I noticed about four major themes and I wanted to get them all out in the open because I cannot stop thinking about them (and their importance).

Humanity has forgotten the beauty of being alive
This is so obviously the dominant theme in this film because we see how much Theodore grows from seeing the world through Samantha's eyes. She's an operating system discovering what it means to interact with humanity and live in the physical, and she LOVES it. All of her joys, passions, interests, pains, and fears are expressed beautifully, and it's so new and irresistible. Intoxicating. She's excited to be alive. How many humans actually feel that way? We saw how cold and detached Theodore was before Samantha came along (that represents us right now), and it's a commentary about how humanity has completely lost the joy of being human. Being ALIVE. Having emotions and experiences and memories. Life is a wonderful thing and Samantha's character is there to remind us of that.

Love comes in many different forms, and that's totally OK
This is another obvious theme because we see Theodore fall in love with an intelligent OS. This is unconventional, even in our time when we're seeing more open homosexual (LGBTQ fucking everything) relationships, polyamorous relationships, platonic life partnerships, etc. etc. How is it even possible for someone to love a computer? I believe "Her" handled this idea delicately, being sure to provide both perspectives (Rooney Mara's character who opposes it, and Amy Adams' character who supports it). I love how ultimately, Theodore says "fuck it" because life is too short not to enjoy. Not to give and receive love. To him, and anyone who has connected with an OS, it feels REAL. So who's to say it's not? Sounds crazy, but maybe we're just not emotionally advanced as a species to understand this... yet.

People change and there is nothing you can do about it
This theme comes up multiple times. First with Theodore and Catherine's failing relationship, then Amy and Charles', then finally, Theodore and Samantha's. People evolve and feelings change. I think this film shows that it doesn't always have to be devastating. It doesn't always have to end in pain or even severance. These relationships end on a somewhat positive note--Theodore's last letter to Catherine (so fucking beautiful) and Samantha and Theodore's sweet goodbye. When I think about people changing in relationships, I know that it's an inevitability. Some people fall out of love (like Amy/Charles), some people were never really right for each other (Theo/Catherine), and some people blur the lines completely (Samantha/Theo). There's one line from the film that relates to this idea of "blurring lines" perfectly, and it's when Samantha tells Theodore she's fallen in love with about 600 other people: "But the heart's not like a box that gets filled up. It expands in size the more you love,"
AND

Theo: "That doesn't make any sense. You're mine or you're not mine."
Samantha: "No, Theodore. I'm yours and I'm not yours."

*Applauds* Can we just gush about how groundbreaking these ideas on love are? I could talk about this theme all day, but I'm going to move onto the next one because this is getting long.

Our communication sucks and should be more like Sam/Theo's
First, I'd like to point out the fact that Samantha, a fucking operating system, is better at communicating her emotions than Theodore is. Did you hear me? A machine is better at communicating than a human is. I feel like this is so true in reality, too. People have lost the art of communication, we hold everything back and just don't handle things in a healthy way. From the beginning, Samantha effortlessly shares her emotions and thoughts, while Theodore represses them (this caused trouble in his marriage, too). But then a thought occurs to him, 'Why not share everything with Samantha? I feel like I can.' And then suddenly audiences get really lovely moments like the morning after Sam/Theo have sex, and Theo's like "Oh, I should probs mention that I don't want anything serious right now," and Samantha's like, "Whoa buddy, did I suggest I wanted something serious?" And then Theo's like holy shit you're right, sorry bby, tell me what you're feeling and let's talk about this like two intelligent, EQUAL, mature adults. Theodore and Samantha give each other this safe haven where they can discuss anything/everything. There are so many times when they handle their problems by simply TALKING about them, or saying, "You know what, I don't like who I am right now, let me get back to you." Like, THIS IS WHAT RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE. That's fucking love right there.

That's about all I have time for today, but if anything else comes up, I will be sure to include it later. But damn, go see this movie. Seriously. Go see how it challenges what you've come to know about love and human nature. Plus, if you like sci-fi and/or set and/or costume design, it's a pretty awesome film for that.

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